Natalie Portman Wearing A Thong

(I'll explain the title in due course.)

Sorry for the very very long delay in posting, in which I promised I'd post my Songs of the Week, not once, but twice, and failed to deliver on both occasions. I wholeheartedly apologise, and will strive to make amends with a post that will hopefully redeem myself to you, the reader, and set the balance of the world right again. (Note to self - You're sounding like a dick. Stop it.) As a result of this long-overdue catch-up of the life of Darren, this post will be long. Be patient, and I hope it'll be a rewarding read, in some way, at least.

I'll start off by listing my Songs of the (Past Three (Because Let's Go Surfing Doesn't Count)) Weeks.

Here we go!

Lupe Fiasco - Superstar
Modest Mouse - Float On
Arcade Fire - Ready to Start
Wilco - I Am Trying to Break Your Heart
Cavalera Conspiracy - Terrorize
Rihanna - The Only Girl (In The World)

Aye, you did read that correctly. That guy that shouts from the rooftops (in a metaphorical sense, because it doesn't mean much literally, my roof's in a cul-de-sac and really quite low, so it'd have little effect. Plus I have no voice amplification technology to speak of, so... yeah.) about the state of modern music and how people who don't write their own songs are the devil has listed Rihanna's latest single as one of his Songs of the Week.


THE SECTION WHERE DARREN EXPLAINS CHOOSING RIHANNA!

I feel that my use of bold text may lead you all to expect some change of heart regarding my taste in music or some deep philosophical meaning behind my choice. Well:

I JUST HAPPENED TO REALLY LIKE THE SONG...

There. It just came to me that it's actually a fantastic song. The bass gets me. You should know by now that a catchy bassline has me hooked every time, and TOG(ITW) has exactly that. Also, the video's a crock of shit, but ignore it, and watch this only for that amazing song. At the time of writing, it's been on repeat on iTunes 14 times. (Note: I'd written that sentence at half 11, so that count's way off. Think of it now as closer to 40. I had it on in the car on the way to Stirling this morning. And yes, I did sing. Badly.) This is also one

of the very few times I'll join the bandwagon and say "TUUNE!"and meaning it totally seriously for a song that doesn't feature guitars or real drums. Expect this not to happen for some time afterwards. Here's the shite video, if only to listen to that awesome song. You're welcome.

Now that I've got that out of the way, here's videos for the rest of the SOTWs, with special mention going to Superstar. The acoustic version recorded for BBC's Live Lounge is rather nifty as well, and a great song in its own right. 

WEEK 1

Lupe Fiasco - Superstar

This video's crap quality, but it's the best I could find that'd let me embed it:

Modest Mouse - Float On

WEEK 2

Arcade Fire - Ready to Start

Wilco - I Am Trying to Break Your Heart

WEEK 3

Cavalera Conspiracy - Terrorize

And there we are! So yeah, I hope you at least give the songs a good listen if you haven't already, and if some/all of them end up on your Spotify playlist, or iPod, or whatever, then no harm done!

I also discovered major lols this week, as I learned of the existence of Star War: The Backstroke of the West, a version of Revenge of the Sith that was translated into Chinese, but translated horribly back into English subtitles. For example, when Vader finds out SPOILER ALERT that Padme dies, he screams "Noooooooooo!" But in The Backstroke of the West, he says this:

I actually ended up crying with laughter, and had to stop watching Return of the Jedi, (with proper English subtitles, thank you very much,) because I was no longer paying attention. I managed to find it online as a torrent, so in the next few days or so I should have it. Anyone who wants to collapse in fits of laughter, and that's only by seeing the pictures on here - http://winterson.com/2009/01/episode-iii-backstroke-of-west-redux.html - then I'd recommend you to do the same.

Also, there's a film out next year that I reckon's going to be on the same quotability level as Anchorman. Not a word of a lie. This is the trailer for Your Highness, and it has Natalie Portman wearing a thong in it (Hopefully manky people on Google might get otherwise distracted and come here! Yay!):

More Your Highness Videos

The accents are borderline horrific, but it's James Franco and Danny McBride, so I'll let it slip. This LOOKS like comedy gold, but we'll need to wait until June before it hits screens over here to see if I'm right.

Well that's me done for now, but I'll be back as soon as I can with another post!

Darren out, saying 'cause I'm the only one who understands...