This Blog Is Dedicated To The Thousands Of Air Traffic Controllers Who Keep Our Planes Landing Safely Every Day.

Firstly, let me explain the title. Last night, Paul, Calum and I watched Ground Control, a (pardon my French here) fucking horrible film, in which Kiefer Sutherland has to guide a plane on to a runway, and the suspense of the film is created because it's a bit windy and the airport is going through budget cuts. Seriously. Even though he's only in it for five minutes, The Fonz is the highlight of the film, and also saves the day, because he pulls a giant bird out of a satellite dish. That's all it took to help the plane land. Pulling a bird off a dish. Also, the film's writers obviously couldn't decide whether Jack Bauer was going to pump the new air traffic controller woman or not, because the dialogue between two altered between patronisation, damsel in distress-ness, cheeky flirting, air traffic control facts and (not strictly dialogue, but worth a mention) Bauer doing his sad face, which looks like someone who's been told Santa, The Tooth Fairy, The Easter Bunny and Jesus don't exist at the same time, all while taking a massive dump.The writers must have been off their tits on horse tranquilisers or something to think this would be a successful film. I looked it up. It wasn't.

Sadly, I knew a lot of the cast from other things, Jack Bauer obviously playing as himself in 24, his mentor-slash-friend was in Collateral and Timecop, and the obligatory prickish air traffic controller who becomes nice at the end after Jack Bauer faces his fears and doesn't let another plane crash (oh aye, he got sacked after he couldn't stop a plane crashing before, but comes back because the airport can't afford anyone else) plays someone called Wilson in House. I haven't seen it, but I do recognise the guy. Also, the guy who did the voice of Roger Rabbit goes mental with a golf club.

Anyway, don't ever watch this film. It's so bad, you can't even take the piss, because it's just so poorly written, the one (can't tell if it's deliberately) funny part involves the Fonz's dumbass assistant, flicking switches like he's gone into a huff at not being allowed to watch Spongebob Squarepants.

So onto other things, and I'd like to take the time out to urge you all to watch 30 Rock, sad thing is I'm only aware of one person I know that watches it! I'm currently on Season 3, and trying to catch up before Season 5 starts in September, along with The Office, still among the best shows of all time.

Either way, I've also pretty much given up of that whole Collaboration thing, was quite clearly a massive fail, so I might just take it down soon, unless I get any last minute points.

Here's your checklist for the week:

Listen to In Case of Fire and Vampire Weekend (last-minute addition - 'cause they're beastin)
Watch 30 Rock (preferably from the start)
Don't watch Ground Control. EVER.

Darren out, saying me and my cousins and you and your cousins, it's a line that's always running...

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Now playing: Vampire Weekend - Cousins
via FoxyTunes

Football Manager: A Tale of Highs, Lows and Curses (With Some Other Stuff Too)

Today, I felt like writing a gaming post, which I've not done in a long while.

For the last couple of months, my life has been consumed by Sports Interactive's finest, Football Manager. As the time I've spent playing it's nearing ever closer to 8 days, I think it's time to reflect on my four seasons so far as manager of Werder Bremen, which has been a mixed bag, to say the least...

2008-09 (I'm playing FM 2009)

League - 1st
German Cup - Knocked out (3rd Round - Dortmund)
Europa League - Winner (At. Madrid)
Top Scorer - Vagner Love - 41

2009-10

League - 1st
German Cup - Knocked out (Qtr Final - Leverkusen)
Champions League - Runner up (Man. Utd)
Top Scorer - Vagner Love - 47

2010-11

League - 1st
German Cup - Knocked out (Qtr final - Leverkusen)
Champions League - Runner up (Arsenal)
Top Scorer - Gennediy Shumanskiy - 34

2011-12

League - 1st
German Cup - Winner (Stuttgart)
Champions League - Runner up (Real Madrid)
Top Scorer - Vagner Love - 38

So league-wise, aye, I'm beastin', but it's like I'm cursed in Europe. I only one the Europa League because of a disallowed goal, and I've lost in 3 consecutive Champions League finals. Also, after only winning the German Cup for the first time last season, I had lost the the eventual winner each time before...

For recommending players to sign, I'm just going to say players Graeme Kelly (THANK YOU) told me to sign along with ones I've found myself:

Vagner Love, Miralem Pjanic, Darijo Srna, Juan Manuel Vargas, Ivan Marcano, Toni Kroos, Mesut Ozil, Manuel Neuer, Rene Adler (Never signed but a bloody good keeper), Giuseppe Rossi and countless youth players that don't actually exist who I've managed to sell off at a tidy profit.

So I'm on my second week of game time with my fifth season at Bremen, and hopefully I might actually win the damn Champions League!

And in other really exciting news, I arranged all my CDs in alphabetical order, all 80 or so, which may not be as many as I'd like, but it still took bloody ages to sort! You know you really have too much time on your hands when you're debating whether to sort them by the name of the band, the name of the album, or the year it was recorded. (I went with the band order, for those interested, who I hope will be none of you...) Next challenge: 30-odd PS3 games and Blurays, then onto the 150-ish DVDs. Good thing I'm not working till Friday...

I'm also having a massive Queen-gasm today, after I found my dad's CD downstairs (I bought him it, so tough, I'm keeping it). Absolute Greatest indeed. How I didn't have this before, I'll never know. I mean, I've always loved Queen, I just looked to hear new things before buying any Queen albums, I suppose!

Also, I was looking through old posts (look at the "Supergroups" post to find a horrible aspect of my musical past which I was sure I had erased all mention of...) and I came across a band I had seen live once. Their name is In Case of Fire, they're from Northern Ireland, and think of them as a cross between Muse (but less dramatic), Queens of the Stone Age and Biffy Clyro. I found their album on Spotify today, and it reminded me how good they were at T last year.

Anyway, I'm off for a night of giving blood, watching questionable movies and Baileys on the rocks with Mr Kelly and Mr MacInnes!

Darren out, saying open your eyes, look up to the skies and see...

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Now playing: In Case Of Fire - This Time We Stand
via FoxyTunes

The Post Where I Recommend Stuff (Without Imposing At All)

Like the title says, this is the one where I recommend stuff to you all, because these things deserved to be read, seen and listened to.

I'll put it into categories, so it's better organised, like eh? Ken?

Comics

Scott Pilgrim's Precious Little Life - Bryan Lee O'Malley
And not just because the film's out next month. The first (in a series of 6) is among the best things I've ever read, and I'm making a strong statement here - it's a better book than The Dark Knight Returns, which is still goddamn epic!

Scott Pilgrim vs The World - Bryan Lee O'Malley
This book, the second, is just as good as the first. Just so you know, the film's based on all 6 books

Batman: Year One - Frank Miller
A Frank Miller-written origin story, part of this was the basis for Batman Begins, and it shows. Fantastic art, well-written and a great read.

Kick-Ass - Mark Millar
Epic. 'Nuff said, really!

Civil War - Mark Millar
It's not the greatest-written comic series I've read, but that fact that it has near enough all of the great Marvel characters in it, the art is fantastic, and the fact that a very fecking MAJOR character dies in the series is a lure enough!

Books

The Millenium Trilogy:
The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo - Stieg Larsson
The Girl Who Played With Fire - Stieg Larsson
The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest - Stieg Larsson

Hands down, the best series of books I have ever read. Mikael Blomkvist works wonders as a likeable bastard, whereas Lisbeth Salander is among the best characters I've had the pleasure of reading about. The books have recently been adapted, and although I've only seen the first, the performances completely do the books justice.

The Sicilian - Mario Puzo
This, a semi-sequel to The Godfather, sees Michael Corleone during his time in Sicily, after he went there to hide after killing Captain McCluskey. Despite this, it's also based on Turi Giuliano, an Robin Hood-style bandit in Sicily. Fantastic book, even better than the first. Shame the adaptation (a TV film, I think,) sucked!

Films

There are so many of these, I'm not going to describe them. Take them all to be awesome. In no particular order...

Control - Anton Corbijn
The Damned United - Tom Hooper
The Big Lebowski - The Coen Brothers
Back To The Future - Robert Zemeckis
Terminator 2 - James Cameron
Hellboy - Guillermo Del Toro
Training Day - Antoine Fuqua
X-Men 2 - Bryan Singer
Goodfellas - Martin Scorsese
The Departed - Martin Scorsese
Star Trek - The Wrath of Khan - Nicholas Meyer
(500) Days of Summer - Marc Webb
In Bruges - Martin McDonagh
Layer Cake - Matthew Vaughn
Kick-Ass - Matthew Vaughn
The Princess Bride - Rob Reiner
This Is Spinal Tap - Rob Reiner
Mean Girls - Tina Fey - Not joking, I actually love this film!
The Lives of Others - Florian Henkel von Donnersmark
Zombieland - Paul Wernick & Rhett Reese
Goodbye! Lenin - Wolfgang Becker
Adventureland - Greg Mottola
The Twilight Saga: New Moon - Chris Weitz (I am, of course, kidding!)
RocknRolla - Guy Ritchie
Seven Samurai - Akira Kurosawa, and finally...
EVERY FILM PIXAR HAS EVER MADE

Also, some Music: (NO PARTICULAR ORDER)

The Beatles
U2
LCD Soundsystem
Daft Punk
Arcade Fire
Queen
Lamb of God
Metallica
Rodrigo y Gabriela
Joy Division
The Smiths
The Gaslight Anthem
Pearl Jam
Led Zeppelin
Fleetwood Mac
Nirvana
Paramore (ALSO JOKING)
The Stone Roses
The Doors
The Jimi Hendrix Experience
David Bowie
Queens of the Stone Age
Nine Inch Nails
Justice
Vampire Weekend
The Strokes
Elbow
Mumford and Sons
Coldplay and
Alice In Chains

This probably won't be them all, but it's a fair bit.

So guys, listen, read, watch and enjoy! Ask me to borrow something if need be, not a problem...

Darren out, saying my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!

A Nation of Collaboration

For a while, I've wanted to try something out, but never really had the chance/ couldn't be bothered at the time. But now I may as well...

You see the wee text box at the left there? If you so wish, write something, anything you like in there. In an ideal world, discussions would run free, I'd get blog critiques/ idea suggestions, and other random things people might want to say. In an ideal world, of course. If nothing comes of it, fair enough, all aboard the fail boat for this experiment of mine, but it's worth a go at least.

If you feel like writing something, go ahead. I've started this, the rest is up to you...

Darren out, saying sometimes I can't believe it, I'm moving past the feeling...

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Now playing: Arcade Fire - The Suburbs
via FoxyTunes

The Month Of June: Highs, Lows, Tunks, A Turntable And A 67p Profit

First off, after 2 months of not writing a word, apologies for not stuffing the Internet full of crap earlier... Well I'm back now, and before I head off to an Internet-free flat in Dundee for 2 weeks, I'll go over some shizz while I can!

If you weren't aware already, I was in London twice last month, seeing two of the greatest bands around today - Rage Against The Machine (Sunday 6th) and Pearl Jam (Friday 25th). My God, Rage was awesome. The crowd were fantastic, if not especially cramped together: trying to escape the crush earned myself an elbow in the face, so you win some, you lose some. Even the support was rather nifty, Gogol Bordello, the self-styled "gypsy punks" put on almost as good a show as Rage, and even Roots Manuva, fair play to him, was one of the very few acceptable rappers. The DJs in between Roots and Gogol though, horrific. Bottled off stage. Good riddance.

Rage covered The Clash, which was impressive, if not surprising, and their set was packed with the favourites and a couple of unexpected songs, Township Rebellion being one. At least his speech about those naughty characters in Israel was pretty short and sweet - more time for the moshin'! (Sorry, I couldn't resist. I wouldn't actually seriously say that...)

Rage Against the Machine Concert Setlist at Finsbury Park, London on June 6, 2010 | setlist.fm

In between both trips, Asda came to occupy most of my time, while having to lug boxes on my days off. The reward was entirely worth it, mind you...

Pearl Jam was probably the second best gig I've ever seen in my life - nothing will ever top Springsteen - but they came damn close. They didn't cover The Beatles, but Pink Floyd will do!

Pearl Jam Concert Setlist at Hard Rock Calling, London on June 25, 2010 | setlist.fm





Oh yeah, I also went to Abbey Road, got to walk on the crossing. Beastin'. (That I DID mean to say)

For the trip, and everything else, hefty grateful. Ta, K.

What did suck though, is that the week before London/Birthday, my mum and dad split up. Wasn't easy to deal with, and it was tough at first, but I'll over it now, and I'll live, always do.

And now to happier points - My 19th! Kirstie, Rachael, Paul, Calum, Caz, Sarah, Kev, Graham and Claire, cheers for an awesome night of drinks, questionable music and minor gambling - I won 67p! Upon my return back home, I got DJ Hero from my mum and dad. So much fun, by the way, if you can live with looking like an utter dick for 5 minutes at a time.

Also, I bought the Kick-Ass comic book while I was in Fundee, and I urge you all to read it, and also start to use the word "TUNK." It's the male equivalent of the C-word. Slip it in conversation, spread the word...

So that's June out of the way, and I leave you with the promise of more frequent writing.

Darren out, saying anybody can be cool, but awesome takes practice...

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Now playing: Radiohead - Just
via FoxyTunes

A Birthday Celebration

YouTube, it's been a great five years. Thank you. Cue hilarity...











Darren out, saying they're taking the Hobbits to Isengard!

Mega-Blog, Part 2

And now for the rest of what's currently sitting in my mind!

As of last week, I'm now an avid fan of Doctor Who. I'd never watched an episode before, but I had myself a little marathon on iPlayer, and I'm now hooked on Matt Smith and Karen Gillan's adventures through time and space. The Eleventh Doctor's fantastic, just the right mix of comedy and drama, and Amy Pond's appearing to be a great companion. I've not got anything to compare it to, but I'm now greatly appreciating the series so far. Looking forward to "The Vampires of Venice."

And in good news, Henry Sugar's almost finished! I have just a few more scenes to write, and I AM DONE!! Not to boast or anything, but I like what I've done. It's not just a straight adaptation, I've added plenty of my own stuff. It's only a first draft, so it's hardly Oscar-worthy, but I like what I've done as a base for future improvement. I'm happy with what I've done, and I know I'm not any good, but I'm actually enjoying it, and might even knock up an original composition or two, in time...



Also, Marvel's next movie after Iron Man 2 gets its first official picture! Thor, which Kenneth Branagh's directing, and while Chris Hemsworth is playing Thor (he was Captain Kirk's dad at the beginning of the new Star Trek), it's also starring Natalie Portman and Anthony Hopkins! It's out next year, and apparently there's a Thor reference in IM2, which I haven't yet seen, so don't spoil it! Having read a few of the comics, I'm a fan, so I'm looking forward to this time next year.

Speaking of Iron Man 2, I indulged in my inner child the other day and tried on one of the face masks at work. The epitome of cool, I was!

And guys, here's the best video, of all time, ever. Christopher Walken reading the lyrics to Poker Face. Might not be funny if you're not aware of who Mr Christopher Walken may be, but fans of his distinctive voice will be enthralled. Let's watch!



For now, I believe that's everything, but then again, my mind wanders. A lot. Expect updates soon. Adios.

Darren out, saying no, you can't read my poker face!